Fairy tales, the ones you loved as a child, were the best! The storytellers knew we have an inherent desire to be rescued by a hero. Prince Charming saved Cinderella from the evil step-mother. Bell was swept off her feet by the Beast, who was willing to put her life above his own.
The Classic Hero
The classic stories show the nature of a woman and what she longs for, to be taken care of, rescued, and saved. But a strange thing has evolved over the past fifty years. We are now told we are the hero of our own story, and most women are buying into this lie. How about you?
Marketing has proven this to be true. Advertisers effectively use this twisted message of “be your own hero” to sell us everything from clothes to cars. Back in 1982 there was a perfume commercial on TV for Enjoli. If you are a bit older, you remember this ad well. These catchy lyrics were quickly running on repeat in every middle school girl’s brain because the ad was constantly in front of us. It was hard to forget the words!
I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. and never, never let you forget your a man. ‘Cause I’m a woman. Enjoli
Do you Really Want to Be the Hero?
Our worldviews can change when we hear false messages continually. As a 13 year old I knew this was a bad message. Sure, a woman can work and make money, cook dinner, and still “take care” of her man. But the bigger message is “I’m a woman and I can do it all. I don’t need anybody to help me or take care of me. In fact, I can take care of my husband instead.”
So who’s the hero anyway? It sure isn’t Prince Charming! Feminist empowerment and the emasculation of men have been shaping you since childhood, regardless of your age. The examples are in television, movies and music back to the 1950s. The “WOMEN DON’T NEED MEN” message just got louder with each decade.
Women Lost Their Heroes
The idea that women don’t need a hero anymore has gone from a subtle message to an explosion. This changing mindset isn’t surprising if you understand how our Biblical worldview was already being mocked and replaced as early as the 1920s in the worlds of philosophy, science, and academics. There’s so much to say on the worldview topic that it will have to wait for another day. But understand that this didn’t happen overnight. As with everything else that is erupting in our culture, it has just become a lot more noticeable in the the last 10 years.
Storybrand, a successful marketing strategy and bestselling book by Donald Miller, reminds companies that people want to be the hero of their own story. If you are wanting to sell a product, then you should take on the role of a tour guide, leading the customer to be the hero of their adventure as they purchase your product. There’s nothing wrong with this marketing campaign. In fact, Donald Miller may sound familiar to you as the Christian author of Blue Like Jazz. Miller just figured out what would sell a product and utilized the strategy. My point is that is says a lot about our current culture that this strategy is so effective.
It’s all part of self-love . . .
The idea that we are the hero of our own story goes right along with the self-love messages we are constantly hearing. You can check out my series on the problems with self-love and how it contradicts the Bible. This idea has been pushed on us so strongly that women in particular have embraced it. The signs are clear in that fewer women are getting married and having kids. They don’t need anybody.
The roles of wife and mother are Biblical roles that have existed since the creation of Adam and Eve. Take some time to read the first three chapters of Genesis. Eve was created as a helper to Adam, not to be his hero. These passages can be hard for us to read because our culture has made us believe these ancient words are no longer relevant. And we certainly don’t want to be reminded that after Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God told her that her desire would be to please her husband and he would rule over her. However, these aren’t harsh words if they are taken in the right context, in a loving marriage. Basically, it means our desire is to help our husbands and let them take care of us. We want them to be our hero. God created us that way.
ALL WOMEN NEED A HERO
If you aren’t married, this is still the perspective to have in regard to men. Christian men have a desire to a be a hero, to take care of the women in their lives. Whether you are single, a single mom, or a widow, there are times when you need to lean into the men in your life. Don’t let pride keep you from having a hero when you need it.
We also want to remember the role our fathers, sons, and brothers have in our lives. Work to grow and nurture these relationships. Let them know they are important to you and that you are glad they are there to protect and take care of you. Once again, it requires some humility. It also requires acknowledging when our sons have become men. Stop being a helicopter with your adult sons.
Don’t Forget the Ultimate Hero
While it’s really important to understand the roles of men and women, it is even more important to remember that Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer, is our ultimate hero. When he died on the cross, he became the hero of your story. Let him take on the burdens you can’t carry on your own. Whether you are dealing with disappointment, anxiety, fear, worry, or exciting changes in your life, lean on him. Deep down you know you can’t handle everything on your own, and you don’t have to.
I think we all can honestly admit that we have fallen for the idea that we can be the hero of our own story. We don’t want to bother our spouse with things that are troubling us. Pride tells us to take care of it ourselves.
And sometimes we think Jesus can’t really handle us. We’re too much. But just think of the apostles and all their questions and mistakes. Peter was a handful, but Jesus never stopped being Peter’s hero. He literally pulled him up out of the water! Don’t you want that kind of hero? I sure do!
My prayer is that you can take this message to heart and make changes in your thoughts and beliefs. May you grow closer to the men in your life. Let their strength and courage lead you to be the helper God called you to be.
